Incorporating data

Writing Tip Whether you are reporting your own data or using a source, the information must be clearly and accurately incorporated into your writing, using appropriate vocabulary. Read this paragraph from an essay about research into shopping habits and think about how the vocabulary could be improved. The study, performed by a marketing research team, was created to find out information about people’s buying habits. A general group of approximately 100 shoppers were interviewed over a four-week period. During this time a lot of data was assembled and checked. Prior to the study, the research team had thought that there would be many differences in the subjects’ approach to purchasing. The results showed they were right. They discovered that men spent much more time than women researching their purchases on the internet. However, women shopped more often and spent more overall. These results are the same as those of other similar studies. What’s wrong: The vocabulary is not precise enough. There are certain words and phrases that are commonly used to describe data and few of them have been used.